


No need of eyes to soar

by dianamoth (lunaemoth)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blind Character, Disabled Character, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaemoth/pseuds/dianamoth
Summary: At twenty, Katsuki Yuuri lost his sight.At twenty-three, he gained insight.
Relationships: Christophe Giacometti & Katsuki Yuuri, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri
Comments: 7
Kudos: 181





	No need of eyes to soar

**Author's Note:**

> I was doing some clean-up in my drafts, and I rediscovered several half-finished pieces I had written. This one seems good enough to be published as a one-shot, so here you go.
> 
> NB: I'm French, English isn't my native language, and this isn't betaed so you can expect some mistakes. If anything bothers you, please send me a nice comment with the correction.

If life hangs by a thread, destiny spins like a loose bobbin.

Yuuri’s thread didn’t break, but it certainly tangled messily. It left him raw and tender, unable to make sense of the knot he had been handed. He choked on it, feeling it block his airways. He tripped on it, feeling it coil around his ankles. It was so heavy, so foreign, so scary, that it took him three years and the support of his family and friends slowly helping him to untangle this mess, to stop thinking about simply cutting it out to make things easier for everyone.

At twenty, Katsuki Yuuri lost his sight.

At twenty-three, he gained insight.

oOo

“No.”

“Yuuri,” Phichit sighed.

“No! Are you crazy? I’ll just ridicule myself!” Yuuri shouted, carefully turning his head to stare in his friend’s direction, to show him how serious he was. While he didn’t care about eye contact, it was important for sighted people, so it helped to make his opinion known and heard. Years ago, Yuuri used to lower his eyes too often because he was scared of eye contact, of seeing people’s expressions and attention on him, but obviously, that didn’t matter anymore.

“You can do it, Yuuri. Your step sequence's perfect, your spins are as beautiful as before! You have still difficulties with the jumps but who cares if you don’t do quads or even triples during an exhibition show? You don’t even have to do any if you don’t want to!” Phichit insisted, desperately trying to convince him.

“That’s in private. Performing in public is a whole other story and you know it.”

“We'll be with you on the ice the whole time,” Chris added calmly. He was standing on the side, probably leaning against the wall with his arms crossed if Yuuri remembered his mannerisms well. “If you lose your bearings, we’ll be right there to keep you on track. We’ll help you with spatial awareness.” 

Yuuri shook his head stubbornly, groping around the bench to put his skates away. “No,” he repeated, “it will just end in disaster and everyone will pity me _again_ and the media will talk about the accident _again_. They finally left me alone. I don’t need anyone’s attention.”

Chris stepped forward, his boots clicking on the tiles. He stopped right in front of Yuuri, crouching down slowly in a way familiar enough that, when he cupped Yuuri’s chin, the Japanese wasn’t startled. 

Chris had the very particular habit of insisting on looking him in the eye. He claimed that it wasn’t about eye contact but proximity and touch. Yuuri didn’t mind anymore, he rather liked it to be honest. In a world of darkness, gentle touches had become his light. 

“Listen Yuuri… We know what you think of yourself: someone to be pitied, to be helped, who is less than sighted people…”

“That’s not what I think,” Yuuri tried to deny, although it was a half-lie. There were times when he was thinking this way. It was less and less common as time passed by and he became better at being independent, but it still happened.

“Then _prove it_ ,” Chris demanded. “You know what _I_ see? Someone who loved the ice so much that he went back on it even when his doctors told him it would be impossible. Someone who loved figure skating so much that he put his pride aside to ask his friends to help him. Someone who should be respected for his passion and dedication. Someone who proves that just because you’re disabled it doesn’t mean you’re unable. You showed this to us. You can show it to everyone. And, believe me, when you’ll be done, the last things they’ll do is pity you, because what you’re doing is worthy of awe, nothing else.”

Chris’ speech was full of confidence and emotions. 

Yuuri had to close his eyes to keep the tears away. “I… I can’t.”

Chris sighed.

Phichit stepped forward and sat by his Yuuri’s side on the bench. “Yuuri, do you remember when Chris and I came to see you for the first time…?”

*****

*** 6 months after the accident, in Hasetsu ***

They were sprawled over Yuuri’s bed, the three of them. Coach Celestino was enjoying the onsen, giving them some time between “youngsters”.

“The face Chris’ coach made when he told him he was making a detour before going back to Switzerland!” Phichit said between chuckles. “It was priceless! His coach asked where, clearly expecting that Chris just wanted to visit a city nearby, like Kyoto or something, and Chris said: “Oh, yeah, I’m taking a plane in three hours for the island to the south-west. What is it called again, Phichit?” like it was no big deal!”

“It wasn’t,” Chris said, amused.

“You decided to come with CiaoCiao and I in less than two minutes after I told you about it!”

“Of course! It was a brilliant idea,” Chris replied, crossing his arms behind his head as he lied across several pillows. “And the plane ticket was cheap. It was a good deal.”

“You’re crazy,” Phichit commented fondly.

“Why did you come, Chris?” Yuuri asked in a weak voice. He hadn’t talked much since his guests had arrived.

“Isn’t it obvious? I wanted to see how you were and if there was anything I could help with.”

Yuuri pursed his lips and asked brusquely: “Why? We were barely friends!”

A heavy silence fell in the room. 

Yuuri hated it and curled up with his knees to his chest. “I don’t need pity!”

“Yuuri,” Phichit whispered, getting ready to comfort him.

“What do you need then?” Chris interrupted. When Yuuri didn’t reply, his face hidden in his knees, the Swiss sat up and insisted: “Yuuri, what do you need?”

“I need to skate, alright?!” Yuuri shouted as he raised his face, tears going down his cheeks.

“... Okay.”

“W-what?” Yuuri stammered. He couldn’t see it but Phichit was staring at Chris, wide-eyed.

“You want to skate? Then, fine, let’s go skate. Phichit said there was a rink nearby, right? Come on, let’s go.”

“W-what?” Yuuri repeated.

“Chris,” Phichit hissed, “are you crazy?”

“Did you never skate with your eyes closed? Eyes are great but they aren’t essential to skate. He has two feet, two legs, and a fully functional body. Then, let’s fucking go skate,” Chris stated as he stood up and grabbed both Asians by their hands. “This is going to be fun. You have my permission to grab me anywhere and at any time if you need to, Yuuri!” He made his tone sultry, just enough to make it an innuendo.

Distracted, Yuuri blushed and stumbled in Chris open arms. “I… You… My doctor said it was a bad idea.”

Chris hummed. “Yeah, my coach said the same thing about coming here. So what?”

“I… I don’t know,” Yuuri whispered.

“It’s your choice,” Chris said and Yuuri could feel him shrug.

Phichit put a hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “We’ll be there all the way.” He had changed his mind. Chris was right. Yuuri needed to try, and they could help.

It was scary. No, it was terrifying, but Yuuri craved it.

They went to Ice Castle. 

As soon as Yuuko saw them, Yuuri heard her inhale sharply. She waved them through, refusing to hear a word about paying. She had tried to broach the subject of going back on the ice once or twice with Yuuri, but it had been too soon. Yuuri hadn’t been ready to be confronted with everything he had lost and the little things he could recover. She had stopped trying, scared of pressuring him too much.

Near the ice, with the familiar weight of skates on his feet, Yuuri had to take a minute to calm his breathing and his nerves. He leaned on the boards, gripping it tightly. On the other side, Chris and Phichit waited patiently for him, right there if he needed them but understanding he needed a moment. 

Slowly, Yuuri stepped toward the opening. By feel, he looked for the demarcation. Immediately, Chris and Phichit were on either side of him. With a hand on the boards, Yuuri put a skate on the ice. He raised his free hand in a silent request for help. A warm and strong hand — Chris’, his hands were bigger — seized it firmly. Yuuri put the second skate down and let go of the boards. He hold out his free hand for Phichit and with his friends on either side of him and his blades sliding familiarly on the ice, he felt more secure. 

Chris was right. He didn’t need eyes to skate.

By the time Chris and Phichit left, he was perfectly able to skate on his own and to do step sequences. Spins left him disoriented. Jumps were out of the question. Space awareness was difficult. He kept going nonetheless. 

Overjoyed that their friend was feeling slightly better and renewed with his passion, Yuuko and Takeshi let him come after public hours, allowing him to skate without risks of colliding with anyone. One of them always stayed to keep an eye on him. A few humiliating times, they had to fetch him and pull him out of the ice because his loss of spatial awareness had led him into a panic attack. 

Regularly, but less and less often, they had to join him on the ice just to tell him where he was exactly on the rink. At first, they had to bring Yuuri back to the gate so that he could visualize where he was. After a while, they found smarter ways: using points of reference and specific sounds, so that they could just shout from the benches his location and Yuuri could start again without fear of colliding with the boards. 

It took him time and effort to be able to feel as comfortable as he used to be on the ice, but it was worth it. 

*****

“Yes,” Yuuri breathed, “I remember. But it’s not the same thing… At the time, I did it for myself.”

“Are you telling me that you aren’t at least tempted to show everyone what you’re capable of today? Despite what everyone expects?” Chris asked. 

Yuuri clenched his hands together to calm their shaking. “I… I don’t know… I need time to think.”

“I’m pretty sure that you think way too much, _trésor_ ,” Chris teased him with a heavy French accent.

“Why don’t we make a deal?” Phichit offered. “Come with us to Tokyo for the World Championships. If you don’t want to perform then we will just spend some time together after the competition but if you want to… then we’ll be ready. What do you think?”

Yuuri sighed and pressed his hands against his eyes. Just leaving the city was a big source of stress for him. He was familiar with Hasetsu but going to Tokyo was just asking to get lost. “Maybe,” he breathed, “but only if someone agrees to come with me, like Minako-sensei, Yuuko-chan or Mari-neechan.”

“Great!” Phichit and Chris said, as if it was already decided. It probably was: if Yuuri said he wanted to go to Tokyo, his friends and family would bend over backward to make it happen. They had seen him at his worst. They were desperate to help him get better. 

Yuuri really hoped he wasn’t going to regret this. 

oOo 

Viktor was quite bored after winning gold for the fifth time in the World Championship. 

At least, he could have some fun during the gala performance: it was always entertaining to perform with other skaters. Still, it’s not until he noticed Chris’ strange behavior that he was truly dragged out of his bubble of apathy.

Apparently, Chris was friend with the Thai skater, who had ranked fifth yesterday. Viktor wasn’t aware of that detail but it didn’t matter much… What truly surprised him was that they were good enough friends that they had asked to share a performance at the gala, _that_ baffled Viktor. Usually, when Chris was in the mood for sharing the stage with someone, which was rare, he asked Viktor. 

In any case, Chris and Phichit seemed agitated and whispered a lot together. Curious and without anything better to do, Viktor went to them to ask: “Is something wrong?”

Chris smiled at him. “Just a last minute detail to—”

“He’s here!” Phichit shouted suddenly, waving his smartphone around. “I’m going to fetch him at the entrance. Go speak to the organizers!” He pushed Chris toward the officials just before running away backstage. 

Chris snorted but did as he was asked with a wide smile, waving a hand toward his Russian friend. “Sorry, Viktor. It’s a surprise!”

“A surprise, uh?” Viktor murmured, tapping his chin thoughtfully. He liked surprises. He liked to be the one doing them even more, but role reversal was fine from time to time.

It was nearly the end of the gala, with only a few performances left, when an announcement caught everyone’s attention. First came the speech in Japanese and the local crowd chattered so suddenly that surely it was something important. Then the English part came: “Ladies and gentlemen, for our next performance, Christophe Giacometti, the Men’s silver medalist from Swiss, and Phichit Chulanont from Thailand, will be joined by a special guest: Yuuri Katsuki.”

Viktor frowned before turning to Georgi and Mila. “You know him?”

Georgi shook his head but Mila was biting her lips thoughtfully. “It sounds familiar but I can’t remember why…”

The announcement had continued in Japanese and the noise from the audience became louder. When it was followed by English, Viktor finally understood why: “Yuuri Katsuki is a Japanese National Champion whose career was stopped, three years ago, because of an accident during which he lost his sight.”

Mila swore in Russian. Georgia and Viktor straightened, finally remembering. Of course, they had heard of that accident, they even had seen the video, like many other figure skaters. It had happened during NHK Japan (actually, if Viktor remembered well, it had happened in _this_ rink, which had to go through a thorough security check as consequence and couldn’t hold an international competition until now) and had been shared by the media. 

“Are you telling me that a blind man is going to skate?” Mila asked, wide-eyed.

Viktor didn’t reply, his attention had been caught by Chris and Phichit who were standing by a young man and an older woman. The three men were wearing matching costumes: simple black pants and shirts with white wings bordered with silver sequins sewn on the back. “Looks like it,” he whispered distractedly. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the English announcer continued, “for the success of the performance and the safety of Mr. Katsuki, please keep quiet as long as the lights are dimmed.” 

The rink was slowly plunged into darkness except for three spotlights on the ice. The audience quieted down until they became so silent that it seemed like they had faded from existence. 

Chris stepped onto the ice, then Phichit, each of them immediately bathed in the spotlights. 

From where he was standing, Viktor could see the profile of Katsuki Yuuri as he seemed to hesitate just a few seconds before he joined his friends on the ice. The three of them skated toward the center of the ice as the announcer said: “They’ll perform to ‘Into a fantasy’, from Alexander Rybak.”

In respectful silence, Yuuri performed flawlessly. 

When their performance came to an end, he paused, spreading his arms so that Christophe and Phichit could take his hands and reassure him. 

Yuuri smiled, a bit dumbfounded.

In this rink, he had once lost everything. He thought his life had ended at the time. But here he was, three years later, and he got his revenge. The pain and the struggles he had to go through were all worth it. Even if he wouldn’t be able to compete ever again, he was a skater.

He had thunderous applause to prove it.

Once they left the ice, a familiar voice commented close by:

“That was amazing! Well done!”

Yuuri froze, and his eyes widened. He turned, like a sunflower to the light, but still squeezed Phichit and Chris’ hands questioningly, because surely his ears were deceiving him.

“Hey, Viktor,” Chris greeted the newcomer. “May I introduce you to Yuuri Katsuki? He’s a big fan of yours.”

“Really? It’s great to meet you!” Viktor said cheerfully. “I’m a big fan of yours too now, so that’s perfect!”

Yuuri might faint.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on dianamoth.tumblr.com (I published shorter drafts there)


End file.
